September 03, 2005 - 8:50 p.m.
My mom called me this afternoon with a little emotion in her voice. She's usually overdramatic about most things, so I rolled my eyes pre-emptively before she started talking, to save time later.
But then she said she had talked to my ex-mother-in-law last night, and had some news. Mom plays bridge--you know that complicated game that requires players to drink, smoke and berate their spouses? And so does my ex-mother-in-law...which is how I get my limited information on the goings on of my ex-wife. Her to mom to me. Mom's how I found out she married the Indian (not the local kind...the other kind) that she left me for. I shrugged that off...because that put another barrier between me and her, which gives me peace of mind and wallet.
But today wasn't as shrug-worthy a bit of news. Mom told me my ex-father-in-law, who's the ex-husband of my ex-mother-in-law (there's a lot of ex's in this story...sorry if you can't keep up...where was I? On yeah...)is dying.
Now I could write some amazing stories about the man...some that might curl your hair...some that might turn your stomach, but all of them interesting. And when I heard Mom tell me that, I was sure it was a massive heart attack brought on by any number of vices. But it was just a car wreck. He was in Salt Lake City, making a deal of some sort, and was clobbered by another car. He punctured his aorta and broke his hip. They thought they repaired his heart, but he had complications, and is now in critical condition.
The reason I bring it up is, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. I worked for the man for about 5 years, ad while he was a wacky fellow, he did allow me to work in New York City several times...and the first time we went there, he took me to the top of the World Trade Center for a drink. We got stupid drunk at the Oak Room in the Plaza Hotel, stayed in a dive hotel in Times Square and were accosted by several hookers on 8th Avenue.
On the other hand, he cheated on his wife many, many times in my presence and expected me to keep a secret not only from her, but from my wife as well. It was tough for me...because I was still trying to be a good husband at the time (which, in retrospect, was a waste of time.)
Anyway, I thought about calling my ex-mother-in-law...but I didn't know what to say to her. I'm not sure I'm sorry...I'm not sure she's sorry. But I know someone is sorry, which makes me feel a little sad about it. I'm hoping the Mormons are praying extra hard for him up there in Salt Lake City, so I don't have to.
One of these days ask me how he became his grandson's uncle...
